Back to work

I went back to crossfit yesterday.  It felt amazing - seriously.  One really cool thing (that I did not realize I missed)...there was a moment when I was doing shoulder presses and Johnny wanted one more rep...I was at my max, but he and Melody pushed me for that last one...and I did it.  I totally would not have done that standing in a gym working out by myself.  I forgot how awesome that motivation felt.

I plan to go again on Monday.  Whole30 starts on Wednesday, and I already have my first week and a half of meals and groceries printed and ready to go.  I am happy to have a support system already in place for this journey.  Here's to successful 30 days!!

Today.

Today, I have a lot of thoughts and feeling running around in my head.  I am super excited, anxious, nervous...and sleepy. lol

After work, I am meeting Melody at Geaux Crossfit.  I am getting a punch card and some info on the Whole30 challenge.  I feel like I have been yo-yoing, and up until now I have not been completely sure of the problem.  But, I think I nailed it.  Back in 2008, when I first lost all my weight, I had Melody to fall back on as my accountability - regardless of the program.  Not that I haven't had better access to her, but we've been on different paths for the last couple of years - ever since I got pregnant.  During that time, she found Crossfit.  I was not up for trying something like that (brand new) while I was pregnant; and after having Ethan, I still felt like I should be back in some sort of decent shape to try it.  But, with Melody being there, I feel better about starting out.  I am ready to have some better accountability.  My plan is to incorporate two Crossfit classes per week with at least two days of cardio.  I even told Michael that on the days that I miss Spin class, I want to go for a solo run after we get Ethan down.  Now that Michael has weights and a bench, he can work out with the monitor next to him while I get my cardio in.

We are talking about a month - 30 days is not that long.  I am ready.

Honestly, more than anything... I am ready to be fit and trying to get pregnant again...

Happy, happy, happy

Last week was pretty blah and uneventful.  This week I am back to tracking and steady exercise.  It is definitely more difficult to maintain a healthy lifestyle during the holidays.  There is so much going on!

We did receive some exciting news last week... Michael has been promoted to Branch Manager!  He will start with his new branch in January.  This is very exciting for us, especially since we were not expecting it for another 5-6 months!  He is still in the BLA (Branch Leadership Academy) program and will continue with that until it ends in May.  He is one of eight people in Louisiana that was chosen for that program, and the only one who was asked to apply for a Branch Manager position early!  I am so very proud of him!!

With that being said, we are now definitely on the path to getting pregnant again this summer.  What does that mean for me right now?  A HUGE fire under my ass.  I have roughly 6-7 months to lose 30lbs.  That's 4-5 pounds per month, or about a pound a week.  That is completely doable!  Let's go!

Day 5

I'm glad I've been powering through the aches and pains from the gym this week.  Today is the first time this week that I haven't felt like I was run over by a Mack truck.

I've been to the gym four days in a row this week.  That is WAY more than I've done in...well, I can't remember.  Let's see how it panned out:
Monday - 15 min stair climber, 30 min Butt Bible routine, 15 min stair climber
Tuesday - 45 min Spinning, 30 min arms
Wednesday - 45 min Zumba
Thursday - 45 min Spinning (would have done weights after, but had a birthday dinner to attend)

Today, I am hoping to leave work with enough time to do the same routine as Monday before Girls' Night Out!  Happy Friday!

Tracking

Day four of "being serious"...  And, I am worn the eff out.  I am sleepy; I am sore; I am grouchy.  What's not to love?!

I will say that making myself be vigilant in tracking my calories again has proved to be a great tool in deterring some of my bad habits.  For example...  I got home from the gym last night and Michael had picked up Gatti's.  My not-working-out-self would have rejoiced, my normal-working-out-self would have been pissed, but last night I felt indifferent.  I knew it wasn't the best option, but I knew that I had "saved" enough calories that I could eat some and not blow all of my good work.  I had three small slices and some spaghetti - I was starving!  Honestly, I even thought about going back for another slice - wouldn't hurt, right?  But, the smarter side of me that had been tracking all day said, "Give it 20 minutes.  If you're still hungry, then you can have it."  And, guess what?  20 minutes later, I had forgotten about it.  I am having to learn about hungry vs. taste all over again.  Something similar happened this morning.  I overslept and did not have time to make my smoothie before running out the door.  I could have checked in with work and then ran to Starbucks or Subway to grab a bite, but then I remembered that I had Perfect 10 bagels and light cream cheese at work.  Perfect 10 bagels are not the greatest tasting (especially when you want a good bagel), but I made the taste sacrifice for the greater good of my waistline and pocketbook.

As I've said before, tracking has really worked for me in the past.  While I hate feeling like I'm a baby learning to walk again when I think I already know how, that's exactly where I am.  Yes, I have a lot of knowledge because I've been there before, but I've regressed on how to execute it in my life.  I am back at the beginning and I need to go back through the steps of what worked for me when I was starting out in 2008.

My goal is to be back at my fittest when we try to conceive again next year.  I have roughly 7-8 months to get there. :)

My eyes hurt.

And, that's for real.  One downside of working out is that I am way more exhausted the next morning.  Michael and I always try to spend some time together after Ethan goes down, but when I workout all I want to do is go to bed right behind Ethan!

Moving on...I have been shying away from supplements, but I have to rave about one I used last night.  I went to Smoothie King looking for Isopure (a no carb protein drink that I have used post-work in the past).  They didn't carry it, but recommended Redline as a pre-workout booster.  I picked up the "Princess" one and decided to give it a whirl.  WOW!  It was awesome!  My legs were dying in Spin because of my leg workout the previous day, and I had great bursts of energy to push through it.  After Spin, I decided to do an arm workout (bis-tris-shoulders).  I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and it felt amazing.  I will definitely be using this product more, especially on my slower days.

I'm also on day 3 of tracking on Livestrong.  This has worked really well for me in the past.  I know it's just a matter of making myself do it.  It's a pain, but it's also a great way for me to decide if I really need whatever I'm about to put into my mouth because I'll have to track it.

Tonight, I'm thinking that I will try out Zumba.  I don't want a rest day, but I also don't want to overwork anything.  Plus, I've never done it before, so what the hey! :)

Getting excited

That's what I need - to be getting excited.  I used to be anxious and excited to hit the gym.  I'm ready for that point in this journey, and I feel like I am thisclose.

I am still completely disgusted when I look in the mirror, and especially when I see pictures of myself.

Last night, I had a great workout.  Towards the end, I was hitting that point where I had the desire to push myself.  Up to now, I have been hating the very thought of going to the gym.  Part of that is because of the way I look - a vicious cycle.  Last night, I finally started to push those thoughts to the back of my mind.  Instead of focusing on what others might think of my flabby ass, I focused on my mission.  I was there to work that flab off, and while I may not be there right now, continuing this process will get me there again.

Tonight, I am going to Spin, and possibly Body Pump.  Baby steps...one day at a time.

Aggravations

I hate how I can go all day being great, and then one fun night at Bunco can set me back unbelievably far. I ate well all day, went to Spin and then I get to Bunco. Now, I don't have control over the meal that is prepared, but I could do a better job of watching myself. No, I can't measure out like I can at home, but I know how to eyeball fairly well. I feel like I did that last night and still failed once I got back to track it. Ugh. Guess I'll just have a once a month "know I'm going to screw it up" night.

And, another thing that annoys me... Sometimes you just can't track accurately. For example... I had my light turkey sausage quesadilla for breakfast today. However, I removed one side of the tortilla so that I lost a chunk of carbs, but not the protein. Can't track it like that, though. Annoying.

I guess I'm just in a mood today. I feel like I am so far from my goals, and I'm just ready to be there.

post-Halloween "diet"

Hello November 1st!  You are a welcome sight right now.

Now that Halloween is over, I feel like so many temptations will be gone - food and money-wise.  October is always a "big-spender" month for us.  Between buying Halloween candy for the kiddies and then investing in costume supplies, I always walk away feeling empty.  I get so wrapped up in the spirit of Halloween and forget that it is very fleeting.  This year was a little different because Ethan was old enough to start getting into Halloween.  We took him trick-or-treating and he did great!  He loved seeing all the other kiddos and running up to people handing treats out to him.  It was freaking adorable.  Seriously.

Moving on (because I have a whole other blog dedicated the adorableness of my son)...

Michael and I had a talk Monday night.  He asked me what I thought would work for me, diet-wise.  He noticed that I did lose some weight with Ideal Protein, but I have also lost weight using good habits.  I feel like I would be better off using good habits.  Yes, I lost weight using Ideal Protein.  It definitely works.  But, once the accountability is gone, it's not as effective for me.  Plus, Michael wants this whole healthy lifestyle thing to be a family affair.  Honestly, I could do a program and still cook a healthy dinner for us at night.  The only issue would be on the weekends.  It could work.

But, the more I thought about it, I don't want my son and future children (especially a daughter) to see their mom constantly on a "diet".  I want them to grow up seeing healthy habits.  When I was growing up, my mom went to aerobics classes and practiced healthy eating habits for the most part.  Later in my childhood, she started trying different programs like Sugar Busters.  It was weird to me at the time to see her eating things that were different from us.  She had "special bread".  I feel like Ethan should be able to eat the same things that Michael and I eat.  We should all be able to sit down to any given meal as a family and eat together without someone having "special bread".

So, Tuesday, I went grocery shopping with a semi-list.  I decided to start out like I did before - go simple and use the "light" versions.  My health knowledge from before Ethan is still there, but in trying to get back to those good habits, I need to start small.  I used to cook elaborate healthy meals, and maybe I will work back to that one day.  Right now, I need simple.  Simple is a light Jimmy Dean breakfast quesadilla and coffee with sugar-free creamer & splenda for breakfast.  Simple is a sliced turkey or chicken sandwich on light bread with a 40 calorie slice of cheese and pre-measured/weighed Zapps chips and a light salad.  Simple is a crock pot dinner recipe from Hungry-Girl or Skinny Ms.  Simple.

That is where I am at right now.  And, I'm okay with it.

Le sigh

Where did we leave off?  Ideal Protein? Oh yeah...

So, with a few scheduling conflicts, I missed a couple of Ideal Protein appointments.  That threw everything off.  Then, I switched jobs and no longer had a convenient way to get over to Ascension.  I had Byron pick up my shakes for a week, but realized that the accountability was just gone.  Then, Michael's grandmother passed away...  I still have some Ideal Protein products that I plan to use, but I definitely fell off that wagon.

So, here we are.  I'm not completely back at square one, but it sure feels like it.  I gained about 5-7lbs back from the 17lbs I had lost.

Over the last 2-3 weeks, I've been Spinning and running 2-3 times per week - not consistently enough for my liking.  When I'm in a good routine, I like to have solid work-outs at least 4 times a week, usually 5.  That is what I need to get back to.  However, my diet is going to be the hardest part for me.  I feel like I have some terrible habits to break.  I snack late at night, for one.  I feel like I eat way too much at any given sitting.  I need to bust out some major portion control - which started this morning.  I picked up a non-fat latte and breakfast sandwich from Starbucks this morning.  They were out of the egg white and spinach wrap I really like, so I opted for an egg and cheese sandwich.  I was SHOCKED at the calorie difference when I sat down to look.  I only ate half of my sandwich and put the rest in the fridge so that I could have it tomorrow morning. 
I'm also working on my water intake.  I have a 24oz cup I bring with me every.single.day, but I feel like I rarely finish it.  My goal is to drink two full cups before lunch, and shoot for another one after.  We don't keep sodas in the house (unless we are planning for company), so I usually get at least 8-16oz of water with dinner.

I guess I just haven't really looked in the mirror enough to be bothered over the past month.  I saw pictures from a party this past weekend, and I was nauseated at how I look now.  I guess it's easy to put it out of your mind when you have so many other wonderful things going on in your life to focus on.  I am so happy everywhere else in my life, so I feel like I've been able to put this one negative thing away.  That has to end once and for all.  I cannot allow myself to get pregnant again until my health is back where it needs to be.

4 weeks into Ideal Protein

And, I have lost 12 pounds!!  Talk about excited! :)

What makes me feel even better is that, while the Ideal Protein purist does not cheat, I have had several cheat meals and/or days.  I don't want to be miserable.  I refuse to set myself up for failure by beating myself up over a few indulgences.  And, that's what I keep them at - a few.  With Ethan's birthday and all of the hoopla that went with it, I didn't have very many healthy options available - totally my own fault.  Plus, Byron and I had to miss our regular appointment last week, so I ran out of Ideal Protein products.  So, anyway, I had some cheats, but I didn't let it ruin my successes.

Tomorrow, I will be back to Spin and on the strict path.  Since the next 5-6 weeks should be relatively quiet as far as parties and outings, I plan to hit 90% of my total weight loss goal in that time.  I would like to lose 35lbs total, so I'm roughly 20lbs away.  That means I need to lose 3-4lbs a week, and then I could move into Phase 2.  I am so excited that something is working so well for me!  As I've said before, I love the structure, and I think that really helps me stay on track with my crazy schedule.

Cheers to another successful month! :)

Another success!

Yes!  Another successful weigh-in!  I am down another 4lbs!  I am completely used to the diet now.  That is not saying that I don't get cravings or that I don't want to cave to pressure, but the progress I am seeing is what keeps me going.

I had to travel out of town for work, and was concerned that my old travel habits might creep back up.  I used to stop for a Diet Coke or Diet Dr. Pepper (and gas, if needed) before I got on the road.  If it was around lunch, I would just grab something quick.  I was HARD not to do that.  I did need gas towards the end on my way home, but I decided to just get some the next morning to keep the temptation away.  I am so glad that I broke through those cravings and bad habits!

I have also been back in the gym for Spin twice, and we still take our after-dinner walks every night.  I know those are helping.  My goal for the upcoming week is to make it back to the gym three, maybe even four times.  I have to pace myself, because I am low on carbs and this is a diet so I don't have quite as much energy as before.  Once I move into the final phases, I will be back in the game completely.

And, I was finally able to fit comfortably in a pair of jeans that have just been a little too tight.  That felt really good. :)

And here is what motivates me.

I went to my first weigh-in today, and I am down 4.2 pounds!!  I am THRILLED!  I was concerned that my girls night on Wednesday was going to mess me up (and I'm sure it did a little), but I am very happy with that number!  This is what I need to keep me motivated - progress.  I lost several inches as well - mostly in my waist.

The diet does take some getting used to, but it's very doable.  This week was not easy, but it wasn't absolute torture either.  To keep things interesting, I am changing it up a little next week.  I'm going to hit the gym at least 3 times, and on those days I will allow myself one restricted item right before I go.  Michael and I have been taking Ethan on after-dinner walks that last between 45-75 minutes.  We did this four times this past week, and it was really nice.  I feel like they not only benefit our health, but it gives us some solid time to reconnect away from the distractions of technology.  Michael wholeheartedly agrees. :)

So, here we go on to week 2.  Next week, I have a going-away party for a co-worker.  I feel more confident about events like this now.  After seeing this progress, it motivates me more to not indulge so much.  My plan is to go and maybe enjoy ONE glass of wine, have a good time, and go home satisfied.

Yay for a successful week 1! :)

Sucky McSuckers

Sometimes, this diet really sucks.  But, I also felt the same way when I was first starting out in 2008.  I have to remember that I am essentially at the same place that I was.  I feel like it is more difficult now, because I remember how much it sucked.  I don't relish in the small victories as much as I did then.  I know that is wrong, and I should accept that small wins will get me to where I want to be.

I just don't know where I went wrong.  I LOVED being pregnant.  I felt absolutely beautiful pregnant.  I did not gain too much weight - I was in the 25-30lb window by the time I gave birth (which is spot-on for a healthy pregnancy).  I started off healthy, but did let the exercise start to slip at the end of the first trimester.  Maybe that is where I went wrong.  My weight gain was as steady as it should have been, and even in my final days, I didn't feel very bloated or swollen.  Uncomfortable, yes.  And, after I had Ethan, I started breastfeeding.  I breastfed until he was 11 months & 1 week old.  I did it until I just couldn't stand my body for another second, and needed to make a change.  Breastfeeding did not help me with ANY weight loss.  I know it's a Godsend for some, but I'm one of the lucky ones who did not get that benefit.  Now that I have been done for going on 2 weeks, I finally feel like I have control over my body again.  I can cut calories where I couldn't before.  But, I do not feel like I gave myself a license to overindulge...  Maybe I did.  I tracked my calories as often as I could remember, and always stayed under the 2000 mark, usually around 1800.  That is a healthy caloric intake for a breastfeeding mother.  I will say that I always felt hungry.  I tried to snack a little through the day to help, but I'll admit that it wasn't always the most healthy choices.  Peanut butter crackers were my weakness.  I don't know... Part of me wants to beat myself up, and the other part understands that my body went obviously went through some changes.  What worked before was not quite as efficient.


Regardless, I am finally making some progress.  This is my fourth day on Ideal Protein, and I feel like I am getting somewhere.  My hunger and cravings are starting to curb.  When I go back on Friday, I am going to swap out my unrestricted snack for a restricted one so that I can workout in the afternoons again (with energy).  I am learning how to eat again.  With the pregnancy, I allowed myself to indulge on occasion, and I'm not sure that mentality has left yet.  While I don't feel like I have been "so bad"....maybe I have.


Regardless, I am just happy to finally feel like something is working again. :)

Ideal (Protein)

It has been quite a long time since I have blogged here, but I feel that now is as good a time as any to start back up.  Technically, I have three blogs - this one, Ethan's and Melaleuca.  When I have time to blog (and a writing itch), I have to choose which one - usually my Melaleuca one wins.  However, I feel that it is important to get back to the other two.  I have missed documenting so much for Ethan's, and I feel like I would have been doing better on my fitness journey if I had been holding myself more accountable here.

So, here we are.  It's a new day, a new week, and I am more than ready to get my shit right again.  I want my IDEAL body - especially before we get pregnant again.

I started doing Ideal Protein over the weekend.  It is TOUGH, but I have actually been feeling better than ever in the mornings.  Ideal Protein has been around for 25 years, but only in the US for about three years.  It's a ketogenic, or carb-controlled program; but you must also watch your fat content (so, it's not like Atkins).  It is broken down into phases so that you can lose the weight and keep it off.  My younger brother, Byron started it a week ago.  I went with him to his initial consultation, and was very intimidated.  He was going back on Friday, so I decided to see how his first four days went and accompany him back to his 2nd consultation.  He did very well, and I was able to taste a couple of the products (we work together).  On Friday, I decided to take a shot at it.  I purchased a weeks worth of products, and started on Saturday.  I figured that if I could make it through the week (with so many temptations!), I could easily pass through the week.  The first 4-5 days are the hardest, because you are starting to tap into your stored carb reserves.  I made it through the weekend very well!  Even squeezed in two family walks. :)  One interesting thing is that you discouraged from weightlifting in the beginning.  By the second day, on our walk, I could tell why.  Until my body adjusts to the program, I don't plan to do anything more than walks (MAYBE an easy jog).  I figure I should be back to a better exercise routine next week.

As I mentioned, the strangest thing has been my morning energy.  Sunday, I was out of bed before Michael! That never happens! lol  This morning, I was up and fixing him breakfast before he left for work.  When I wake up, I'm ready for the day.  Before Ideal Protein, I would wake up groggy and usually fall back asleep at least once before getting up for the day.

I will try to update at least every other day during the week.  I think that will help me to continue to hold myself more accountable.

Frustrated

I know that I will probably look back at this post and think about how dumb I was, but I need to vent out some frustration.

So, I've been working out hardcore again for three weeks now.  This is what my schedule looks like:
Mondays - Running club
Tuesdays - Spin & Body Pump
Wednesdays - Spin
Thursdays - Running club
Friday - rest
Saturday - Body Pump & Spin
Sunday - rest

As of this morning, I am up 2 pounds.  WTF?  I realize that I should not be a slave to the scale.  This is a lifestyle, not a quick fix.  I could say that those 2lbs were maybe some bloat from lunch and dinner with the family, or maybe I'm building muscle, or maybe I'm not eating enough, or maybe something else.  Whatever.  I don't want to assume things going on in my body.  I am tracking what I eat, making better choices, working out consistently (and with my heartrate monitor so that I can track my calories burned), and I feel like I am failing - which I know is not true.  How do I know?  My clothes are fitting differently.  The jeans I bought less than 2 weeks ago are baggy on me.  So, why am I not happy?  I'm happier when I look in the mirror than I was three weeks ago.  But, then I get upset when I get on the scale.  It makes me want to do things that I know are bad - like diet pills.  I guess that's been another good thing about breastfeeding - I absolutely cannot do anything like that while I am still nursing Ethan.

I know better, too.

I'm just going to keep plugging away...

Last week : B+

Today, I realized that I forgot to grade last week!

Overall, it was a great week.  I worked out 5 of the 7 days (my goal), and ate very well.  This week, I realized that my body is starting to freak out a little bit.  Like, I've lost weight, but my body is trying to figure out if this is a lifestyle change or a temporary thing.  Hopefully after this week, my body will ramp up into losing since these habits are going to stick around. :)  I did go out for lunch with co-workers once, and then we had a date night with Clif & Melody for crawfish on Saturday.  I've decided that I will only give myself an "A" if I avoid eating out for that week.

I've decided that (just like last time I lost weight), that Sunday will be my no tracking/cheat day.  I do not have any control over what our parents cook while we visit, so I will try to watch my portions.  It worked out wonderfully last time around.

So far, this week has been great!  Ran on Monday, Spin & Body Pump on Tuesday, Spin on Wednesday, and I'll be running again tonight.

Bonus Points: I've been able to run with Ethan in the jogging stroller every time since the second week.  Woohoo!

Well ain't that a bitch!

By the time I got to the gym, I totally forgot that the day was Mardi Gras.  I literally changed in the car while driving because I KNEW that I was going to be so late that I wouldn't get a spot in Spin class.  I run into the gym and ask if there is any room on the list.  I'll be damned!  There is!  Woo-hoo!  I walk in and there is only three people, including the instructor.  Hurmm....Ok?  The other girl in class says that she saw Ambrey (the instructor) yesterday and asked her to hold class today.  Ambrey mentions at the end of class that she didn't go to any parades this year.  *Ding!*  It's a holiday.  There are typically no classes on holidays.  Wow, did I get lucky or what?  I head over to the Body Pump room after juuuust to make sure.  Nope.  No Body Pump class.  So, I head home for some extra time with my two favorite men.

I still had a nice 450 calorie burn, so that made me happy.  Sure, I could have stayed and done some weights on my own, but I really did not want to.  I'm still making this routine a habit.  And, just getting to the gym some days is a victory.  I'll be starting Making the Cut in March (haven't decided if March 1st (on a Thursday) or the following Monday), and will still be running and Spinning in addition.  I am just starting to enjoy going to the gym again - and I sure as hell don't want to ruin it!

Bonus Points

Woohoo!

So, I feel like I earned a few bonus points this week.  First, I ran with Ethan in the jogging stroller last night!  There were several hills, and pushing him was a HUGE difference from just running alone.  Michael brought him and we all ran together as a family. :)  Had Michael not come, I would have tried for the 3.3 mile run.  However, I feel like it worked out the way it should have for me.  I need to ease back into running.  I am starting to like it again, so I don't want to screw that up!

Then, today, I turned down an offer to go out for lunch.  It would have been to Whole Foods, which would have been just fine.  However, I am trying to save money on top of eating better.  I brought my lunch today, so there was no need to go out somewhere.  I hated to turn it down, but I felt good about it afterwards. :)

Baby steps!

Last Week : B+

I ended last week feeling pretty darn good.  My diet was pretty much on point with where I wanted it to be, minus a date night out with Daniel & Andrea (and even then, I got a small chicken and onion pizza on wheat with water).  I did not make it to the gym on Saturday morning - with the rain and tornado watches, I decided to snuggle with my little guy instead.  I was productive that afternoon - went grocery shopping at Winn Dixie & Walmart, and then cleaned a little in the house.

I ended up doing the 3.16 miles on Thursday with Claire.  It didn't kill me! lol  I had to stop and walk a few times because of cramping - which I expected.  And, I said no to the red beans & rice and king cake afterwards (but did indulge one beer).  Yay for progress!

Today is another run.  Michael is off, so he's going to meet me with Ethan.  You get about a 20% harder run when pushing a jogging stroller.  Today's beginner course is 1.5 miles.  Since Michael hasn't run in a while and I'll be pushing the jogging stroller for the first time, I'll probably do the 1.5 mile run instead of the 3.3 miler.

And, I'm excited to be down 3lbs from last week. :)

You know what sucks?

Watching what you eat.  Literally.

I've been tracking my food again, and it really does make you hold yourself more accountable.  I have to think about whether or not I'm going to eat that piece of king cake because I have to track it.

Which sucks.

But, I guess it will be good for me in the long run.  I know that tracking works.

So, now that I've established the habit of making and bringing my lunch, it's time to amp it up a little.  I need to double my protein intake and cut my carbs in half.  This morning, I decided that I need to break out the Master Your Metabolism cookbook again.  It has some great recipes.  If I can incorporate those in, and continue to hit get in the exercise that I have been, then I think I'll start Making the Cut on March 1st.  I did one round of it in January 2009, and it really helped me blow through a plateau.  I haven't necessarily hit a plateau, but I feel like I need a great jumpstart.  By March 1st, I'll have been working out on a regular basis for 3 1/2 weeks.  I think that might be a good time to change it up a bit.

Oh, and I've started running again - sort of.  A co-worker/friend has been running with the Varsity Sports running club.  They started a new 6 week program on Monday, and I went with her.  I plan to continue going twice a week for the whole 6 weeks.  Tonight is the next run.  I could do the 1 mile beginner, or join Claire in the 3 miles.  I ran the whole mile on Monday, so I'm going to try the three miles tonight.  I have this love/hate relationship with running....

Hopefully, I will have a good report for Friday afternoon!

Going well : B-

This week has gone fairly well.  I stuck with my diet and hit the gym 3 straight days.  Then, yesterday, I got called into a last minute meeting and did not have enough time to get to the gym before Bunco.  It really pissed me off because I had planned to take Friday off of the gym and go back on Saturday between Ethan's pictures and the parade.  Now, I also have a presentation for a friend at 10:30am.  Then, today, my little brother wanted to go to lunch.  We did and it wasn't terrible.  I'm pretty sure I won't want much of anything tonight.  I never do when I have a big lunch.

Overall, I would give this week a B-.  I take off points for having to miss the gym last night, eating out today, and the possibility of not being able to squeeze in the gym tomorrow.  The good points were that I did make it to the gym three days straight, and this was my first week back in the swing.  I also plan to take Ethan for a run in the jogging stroller as soon as the rain clears up this weekend.

I'm over it.

I'm over it.  I'm done.  DONE.

I'm ready to not be a fat mom anymore.

What is kind of funny about this is that 4 years ago (almost to the day), I made the same decision (minus the mom part).  I had given fitness a halfhearted shot in all of my previous attempts, and the same holds true now.  I've gone a day or two here and there eating well and/or going to the gym.  Then I jump on the scale every other morning or so and expect to see a difference.  Well, this past weekend, I finally had enough.

I want to fit back into ALL of my clothes again.  I don't want to have to buy new, bigger clothes.  Shit, I can't afford to now.

I want my confidence back.  I want to strut around town holding my son.  I want to be active with my son.  I don't want to look back at pictures from my "fitness" days and think that I might not get back to that.

I'm done with the excuses.  My new life as a mother is more reason for me to do this than anything else in this world.