Steps backwards...

I've had a rough week or so now as far as my diet is concerned. Honestly, I could have planned better and made better choices. Most of it has been from work - drug reps bringing lunch, or I forget mine and have to find something on the fly, etc. etc... I had decided to get back on track this week, and have done really well at work from breakfast to lunch...but now, it's when I get home there's a problem. lol Monday I cooked spaghetti, and that wasn't horrible, but I could've cooked something healthier to get myself going again. Then yesterday, I had to turn my rental car in and go pick mine up from the shop. I coordinated with Michael, and when he picked me up, he announced that he was taking me to Texas de Brazil. It was a nice treat (REALLY nice), but not so nice for my diet. I definitely did well for what was available. I had some romaine lettuce with a fresh dressing (really just looked like fresh pico) and steamed asparagus before the meat started to come around. I also had about 1/2 a cup of this AMAZING lobster bisque!!! It was the best soup I have EVER tasted! Then with the meats, I had all steaks, and only the lean parts - nothing wrapped in bacon or anything like that. However, Michael did want some dessert, so I had a few bites of his bananas foster cake. Delish, but definitely a treat I won't be having again soon! lol

I wanted to blame my bad week on PMS, but I have come to far to just toss the blame. I need to make conscious decisions with my diet. It's very easy to get back into bad habits and think, "Oh, this one thing won't hurt." But, it's those one times that turn into many times, and before you know it, you're up 15lbs. I WILL NOT DO THAT!

I pulled out tuna steaks to thaw for tonight, and I'll have some fresh veggies to steam. I will stay on track! :)

Fruit

I love fruit. I love to smell it, buy it, prepare it... The fruit stand is one of my favorite places. However, I have a problem. I love it eat it, but feel guilty when I do. How much sense does that make?! I know in my mind that it's because of the carbs and high sugar content (even though they're natural). Melody gave me this book that details out all of the benefits of different foods, including fruit. I've been pouring over the fruit section trying to break my phobia. I even had it on me to research with while I was at the fruit stand this past weekend to make sure that every fruit I picked up had enough benefits to make it worth the carb count! And, I have made a conscious effort to eat fruit every day this week. I've been having a gala apple in the morning with my normal high-protein breakfast. With lunch I have a small, fresh fruit salad, which consists of pineapple, mango and kiwi. After my workouts, I've had either a gala apple or a nectarine with my Isopure. I have done my best not to think about it. But, when I go to track and see the high carbs, I freak out.

The crazy thing is, my weight hasn't fluctuated at all this week - which I would have taken as a bad sign and blamed the fruit. I actually went down .2 lbs. I guess that isn't much, but every little bit counts since I don't have much more that I want to lose. I have had not one sign to say that I need to cut back on my fruit, but I'm still weird about it. Ugh... I guess I'm just special! lol

Funny and Interesting...

So, I was doing a little cleaning yesterday in the junk room, and came across a couple of books and guides that I had picked up for weight loss years ago. One of them was the "Slim in 6" program. I flipped through the 6 day express for jump-starting your diet and decided to try it out this week. This morning I was going through it a little more while eating breakfast and came across my "Before Stats" from when I bought the program in 2004. Around 5 years ago (documented 8/9/04), here were my stats:

Weight: 127 lbs
Chest: 35"
Waist: 28"
Hips: 40"
Mid-Thighs: 20" (each)
Upper Arm (flexed, peak of bicep): 11" (each)

Today, my measurements are (after lunch AND bloated since I'm about to start my period)..
Weight: 128 lbs
Chest: 35"
Waist: 26"
Hips: 39"
Mid-Thighs: 18.5" (each)
Upper Arm (flexed, peak of bicep): 10" (each)

I guess this is my affirmation that the scale is not always the best indicator of your success. While my weight is pretty much the exact same as it was 5 years ago, I am in much better shape and am definitely smaller than I was. However, because of my muscle gain, my weight isn't lower. I've been getting very frustrated with the scale, but this just proves that I need to have more patience and just continue working as I have been.

I think that aiming for high protein has been a nice kick for my diet, too. I can't maintain that, especially over the weekends, so it's nowhere near a long-term thing. But, trying to keep it through the week with my carby days being over the weekend, keeps my metabolism guessing; I think. Tomorrow is the 1st, and will make about 2 weeks I've been trying to do this. I plan to take some progress pics this weekend. Hopefully, I won't be disappointed! :)

Some days are harder than others...

I've been doing my best to maintain high protein, low fat and low carb. It's not always perfect, but I think I've gotten the hang of it. My lowest in the last week and a half was 126.4lbs. I am back up around 127-128, but I think some of that is the sodium from the soup & crackers Wednesday (I was sick), and so I've been trying to drink lots of water. I'm also going to start my period after this weekend, so that's probably not helping. :P

One thing, though, I can definitely see a difference in my body, even though the weight has pretty much stayed the same. So yay for that. I really wish the scale would go down though. lol

I plan on taking some progress pictures soon. I thought about this weekend, but I'm about to start. Maybe next weekend. It's just one of those weeks....blah.

One awesome thing - I received a notice in the mail from GNC. They're going to be doing "Buy 1 Get 1 50% off" for the first 10 days of September. PLUS, I will still get to use my 20% member card on top of that. I'm definitely going to stock up on my protein and vitamins! :)

Routines & Proteins; Breakfast & Sleep

This blog is kind of a 2-parter..

It's been 2 1/2 weeks since the Tri, and I've been trying to figure out where to go now. Do I want to go back to the old Spin/Body Pump routine? Do I want to restart NROLFW? How about doing more Tri training for the next race (whenever that will be)? Honestly, I dabbled in all three areas. I've done a few Spin/Body Pump sessions together, started riding my bike 12-15 miles with a 2-3 mile jog afterwards, swam laps a couple of times...I just haven't felt a spark with any of them. I did the first workout in Stage 2 last night. My shoulders are super sore today (yay!). I guess I'm just still not sure what to focus on. I know it's good to keep your body guessing, so I really could just do it all...But, I like to have a routine. It helps keep me focused. I do know that I want to finish Stage 2 now that I've started. It's only 8 workouts, so those will be done in like 2 weeks. I need something to go with it though. It's easier to do something at the gym if I'm already there, instead of trying to come and bike, for example. But, at the same time, I don't want to lose out of any Tri training. I don't know when the next race will be, but I don't want to find one and then have lost precious training time. This first one I did gave me the tools I needed to get myself in competition mode. For Rocketchix, I just wanted to finish. Now, I want to place and win. :)

In addition to re-thinking my workout, I've been looking at my diet more. I've gotten perfect at maintaining. At this point, I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight because I've gotten so good at portion control and knowing what will make me full (on top of just staying active). I don't need or crave as many calories during the day as I used to. However, I want to shed those last few pounds of fat. I don't know a lot of technical stuff for diet and exercise, but I know what has worked for me. So, I'm trying to keep my protein percentage at 40-50% during the week, and around 30-40% on the weekends. That's a high count for my weekends, especially with the family time on Sundays that is ALWAYS filled with yummy "soul food". :) I doubt I will make it even most of the time, but I want to consciously aim for it.

So, I've played around with higher protein for the last couple of weeks, but this week I started cracking down on it. I didn't feel well on Monday (not as high as I wanted for protein, but kept my calories low), so I started hardcore yesterday (Tuesday). I ended my day with 58% protein, 22% carbs and 20% fat. Perfect! I could have eaten more carbs, but I have found that the stricter I keep myself at the beginning, the easier it is for me down the road. So far today, I am 58% protein, 7% carbs and 35% fat. The fat is mostly from the 2 eggs this morning, and will level out as the day goes on. I have noticed a definite increase in cravings though. I'm also trying to cut down on my sodium, and now salt is all I crave! In the recent past, I would give in a little because I could afford to. However, I'm trying to cut now, so I need to get back to fighting even the smallest craving. I really want to have a solid handle on this higher protein diet by September 1st. I want it to be second nature with little to no cravings by then.

On to breakfast and sleep... On Livestrong, I took a dare to get more sleep. My sleep patterns are very erratic, and I know that having a more steady, solid sleep pattern will help with my diet and exercise efforts. Michael and I agreed to start getting to bed by 11pm everynight, but it has been far from perfect. I guess we are having a hard time getting into that habit. We're just not sleepy by then, but I think that if we make ourselves get in bed by that time, we will eventually get used to it. It's just a pain right now. :( Our vacation time didn't help like we thought it would. We ended up running the roads everyday and staying out late every night - not what we expected. At-home vacation may not have been the best idea. Next time, we'll definitely be somewhere far away so that we won't be bothered! lol

I am also doing my best to get breakfast in me within an hour of waking. I am not a morning person, so I'm usually in a rush to get to work as soon as I wake up. This falls in with the sleep part because if I get to bed at a decent hour, then I will wake up more refreshed (and possibly earlier) than I do now. I have, however, made an effort to cook and eat breakfast before leaving the house this week (I've gotten damn good and making my egg & fat free cheese omelet while getting dressed!). My problem is that it's made me late for work a couple of days. I've also found that taking more time to get up, get ready, eat breakfast and play with Koopa makes my day noticably better. So, I am doing my damnedest to get better at the whole sleep and breakfast thing. :)

I guess that's it for now. We'll see where I'm at in a week or so! :P

My 1st Triathalon

Ok, first off let me say, I have a whole new respect for athletes who participate in these types of activities. It put the Ironman series in a whole new light!!!

Ok, so Saturday was my first triathalon. It was actually more like a mini one (not quite a true half). It was an intense and totally rewarding experience. I showed me that I have a LONG way to go, but that it's do-able. :) I'll just go through the day...

Friday, I went to bed around 8:30-9ish. I had a difficult time sleeping, partly because it was earlier than I was used to and partly because I was so nervous. I got up around 4:45am and finished packing my gear. I took some electrolyte waters with me and ate a peach for breakfast. Michael drove me out there and was my personal cheerleader. :) On the way, I drank a RTD EAS protein drink (I should have done better on my breakfast). I got there and was totally mind-f*cked at first. Since I picked up my packet Friday, I already knew my numbers. So, I got marked, had my bike checked and then put everything up in the transition area. I think normally it's a first-come, first-serve basis on getting the best bike rack spot, but they had ours marked for us. I guess it made it a little easier and less confusing. I ended up in a sports bra, my race suit from HS, and shorts for the swim. I figured I could just throw my tank top on for the bike and then swap into longer shorts for the run. I made the mistake of pinning my number onto my shirt (race belt = new best friend). Once I got everything set up, I went and got my timing chip ankle bracelet. We had a meeting where they didn't give any more info than they already had, and then it was time to head to the pool.

For the swim, they had us (all 400 & something of us!) line up according to our swim times. Everyone was supposed to time themselves for a 50 meter swim and then use a chart they supplied a few weeks ago to figure where your time is. I gave myself extra time, so I stood in the 11 minute line. About 10 minutes into waiting, I realized from the conversations around me that I needed to move up in the line to my actual 9 minute time. So, I slipped on up. The line was really more like a group until you got close to the start, so no one noticed. :) When I got up to the front, I stepped on the mat to start my timing chip and made the mistake of jumping in instead of sliding in. See, the pool was like 8 feet deep, so I had to wait until I surfaced again before I could push off and start (there was no diving allowed). That didn't help my time, but no biggie. The swim was definitely harder than I anticipated. It also didn't help that a girl in front of my obviously misjudged her time and started taking up the entire lane at one point. There was a nice little cluster-f*ck at one point. I ended up doing right over 9min 50 sec on my swim. This is where I earned a battle wound. The volunteers were pulling people out of the pool when they got to the latter. Well, they didn't give me time to get my footing and my shin slammed against the edge of the pool. OUCH. >:( (BTW, I should have realized that when the first girl in the pool was wearing an LSU swim cap AND finished 2 laps ahead of the person behind her that this was no joke! lol).

So, I jog out to my bike (everything was slippery and wet) and start throwing on my shoes. As I go to put on my tank top, my number rips. Great. I'm still soaking wet, mind you. So I get my top on and re-pin my numbers. I realized after I was on my bike that my chin strap on my helmet was way too tight. Something I had plenty of time to check before the race and never thought to. So, once I finally get situated, I'm off and coasting. I maintained about 15-16 mph on the 12 mile trip. The roads were horrible though - lots of bumps, cracks and a few potholes. I started to get discouraged because even though I passed like 5 people, I had about 15 pass me. I finally realized that they were all road bikes that were passing me. I need to get one of those. I had no idea that the difference between those and a mountain bike was that big. So, I make it back to the transition area, and I pretty much feel like I'm about to die and that there is NO WAY IN HELL I could possibly run 2 miles after the swim and bike. I wanted to cry, but told myself I was just going to suck it up, and even if I had to walk I was going to finish. I got my bike back to the rack and as soon as I put it up, I knock the girl next to me's bike off the rack. Of course, I had to stop and put it back. Then I swapped out my shorts because I was definitely not running in booty shorts (wardrobe will be better planned next time). That all took way too much time. I finally got out on the running course. It sucked. OMG, it sucked. I ran/jogged as much as I could, but with the heat and my heart rate going berserk, I had to slow down a few times. However, when I saw that finish line, I definitely picked it up. Crossing that finish line was one of the best feelings in the world (you know, OMG IT'S FINALLY OVER!!!!! lol). I got my Finisher medal and a fresh bottle of water. It was time to sit down! :)

My final time was 1:29:41, and my overall place was 94 (out of 399 actual finishers). I was 24th in my class. I'm not ashamed of my times, but I know now that I have so much more in me. I think I did well for my first time though. I can't wait to do another one, but I'm still very intimidated. I realize that I need a lot of training before then!

Getting close!

The triathalon is this Saturday! I'm already uber nervous! I guess my biggest fear is doing poorly. I have no doubt I'll finish, but I don't want to finish last! lol! I have 3 days of training left, and then I pick up my registration packet Friday afternoon. I was reading an email they sent with reminders and tips, and they said that if we get rained out, there's no make-up day scheduled. Soooo, basically if Mother Nature literally rains on the race, I'm just screwed out of $70! Um, not cool. We have a 40% chance with scattered thunder storms for Saturday. I will be so pissed if it gets canceled!

Today has been pretty eventful. Melody took me shopping at Whole Foods so that I could restock my kitchen. I learned a lot and got a MUCH better feel for the store and what's available to me. I definitely feel like a smarter shopper now! :)

I'm about to head out to Tri training! Hopefully the rain brought that heat index down a tad! :)

Triathalon Training Day 1 - COMPLETE

Yesterday was Day 1 of Triathalon Training. I wanted to die. I only thought I hated running. Oh no, it's worse than I ever imagined. Running can go to hell. I obviously did not understand triathalon training. Yesterday we did biking and then running, Wednesday we will run then swim, and Saturday we will bike then swim. Mondays suck. Good thing it's only three weeks!

I didn't get to the gym in time to do my NROLFW work-out, and it's probably better that I didn't. The training took everything out of me. I was thinking I would try to get up at 5:30am and go work-out this morning, but that didn't work. LOL! I have to go to New Orleans for a meeting tonight. I hope I get back in time to hit the gym, but it's very unlikely. So, I guess I will do my best to finish Stage 1 within this week and next, so that I can really focus on the triathalon in the third week of training.

Thursday, Jason is meeting me at LSU to give me his old car bike rack and to show me the trail I will be riding on the day of the race. I used my Academy b-day card to get bike shorts and a helmet last night. I need to find my old racing swimsuit from high school. I looked at some last night....and definitely forgot how expensive they are!! $75 for a one-piece racing suit! wtf. Is it lined with gold?!

I am getting excited, though. I know that it will feel great to cross that finish line. :)

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EDIT:

So, I just went to register for the race, and it is freaking FULL! WTF?! 400 people have already signed up, and that's the max. >:( I emailed them to ask if someone drops out will they reopen the registration because I really want to do the race. Hopefully they will. I'm majorly bummed... :(

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EDIT 2:

YAY!! The lady emailed me back and said they opened up 20 more spots! I am now registered!! WHEW! lol!

Smile.

Last night Michael and I had a playdate for Koopa with Michelle and Jeremy's new dog, Major Moogie. He's a great dane, and less than a year old. They were a little weary of each other at first, but Moogie used to be around small dogs all the time before Jeremy and Michelle adopted him - so it didn't take long. It was kind of like watching Koopa play with Beau all over again. Moogie would put his head down and let Koopa jump on top of him and they'd wrestle around. It was really cute and sweet. I got some pics of it that I will post soon.

Michelle said she would cook dinner, so I figured that I would keep my calories low during the day since I wasn't sure of what she was going to fix. She called and left a message saying something about maybe tacos, or even Hungry-Girl tacos. Still, I remained tame through the day. I did, however, have an intense work-out! I did my NROLFW routine, and then jumped on the eliptical for some HIIT. Then, as I'm walking out the door, Ashley stops me and convinces me to go to her Spin class. I was like, "You can't yell at me! I just worked legs AND did HIIT, so this is like suicide!" lol She still yelled at me. :P

So, anyway... We get to Jeremy and Michelle's, and she is whipping up this insanely good recipe! It was the Philly Cheesesteak Lettuce Cups from the new Hungry-Girl cookbook. Yum! But to make it more filling, she put the recipe in low carb tortillas. OMG. It made my day! Since I had kept my calories so low and had a crazy work-out, I went ahead and had some wine. :) I probably would've had the wine anyway, but it didn't feel as guilty! lol!

It just makes me so happy when my girlfriends are asking for my advice and using the same EASY methods I did to get back in shape. I loaned my original Hungry-Girl cookbook to Leah, and I hope she's using those recipes too. The one Michelle used was out of the 200 Under 200 recipe book. I need to get that one. I was flipping through, and there are a ton of easy recipes I could do for lunch or a light dinner.

The whole night just made me smile. :)

Almost finished with Stage 1

I only have 7 more work-outs (less than 2 weeks) before I have finished Stage 1 of NROLFW. The biggest change I've seen so far from this stage is in my legs. I definitely have more definition and strength there now. It's not a big change, but I realized pretty early on that this particular stage is more of a "set-up for success" for the rest of the program. The exercises are pretty basic and I have found it easy to go up in weight at almost every session. Yesterday was a toughy though - I definitely pushed myself.

Starting next week, I will be incorporating Triathalon training/boot camp with this program. The training will only last 3 weeks, and will end with an actual Triathalon on August 1st. I've been very excited, and then I started reading more info on the site yesterday... I'm still excited, but more nervous about screwing up now! lol It's very easy to get disqualified if you're not completely aware of yourself the entire time. I zone out a lot when I'm on my bike, so I am really hoping that this training will help my concentration! :) This event is going to determine if I start getting into competitive training. I have a lot of things I want to do as far as my health and fitness is concerned, and I feel like I would enjoy it even more if I had competitions and goals to hit along the way.

Michael has made it very clear that he's ready to start trying to have a baby. That makes me very excited, of course. However...I am going to sound selfish here...I just don't think I'm ready to sacrifice my body for that yet. Michael thinks that as long as I continue to be healthy through the pregnancy and not lose my zeal, that I will lose the baby weight in no time. I, on the other hand, also see the other sacrifices my body would have to make - STRETCH MARKS! I have enough as it is, and I have seen other people's and how deep and dark they are. I'm just not ready! I know that once I do get pregnant and have that baby, that everything will have been worth it. However, I am sitting on the other side right now, so it's not worth it! :P

The thing is, I have more that I want to do before a baby comes along. I think next summer would be a good time for us to think about it again. I want to go to Disney World (since Michael hasn't gone yet), and visit Europe before a baby comes. I wouldn't mind being in the early stages of pregnancy in Europe, but I don't want to be full-blown, big, fat pregnant. Of course, if I get pregnant at anytime, I will welcome it. I just don't want to plan it right now, and I will continue to take precautions in the meantime. Michael and I had agreed way back at a certain amount we would need to bring home together before we started a family. We're about 15k/year away from that goal. Our goal was a little steep anyway, so I guess that's why Michael feels we're more than ready. lol I just think that if we have another year from now before that 9 month countdown starts, that when the little bumkin gets here we'll be at our goal and everything would be awesome. :) Of course, nothing ever works out perfectly like you imagine (or so they say)...

I've come too far...

...to let some petty bullshit pull me down.

Why is it a crime to be successful? Why do some people feel the need to bring you down all the time? I feel like I give and give of myself, only to be belittled by people I call "friends". I do realize that I have been very fortunate in my career field. I was given a chance when the company had no real basis to go on with me. However, it has been the greatest experience of my life, and I thank God everyday for the opportunity to continue to grow in my professional life. Granted, I don't know the specifics as to why I was given this chance, but don't you think that if I had not been living up to or surpassing my boss's expectations of me that I would be gone already? I have been in this position for over two years now. That's plenty long enough to have been let go if they weren't seeing what they expected out of me.

I had to go through all of the bitterness from other employees when I was promoted, and I dealt with it in the best way possible - by just doing my job. I was asked to interview for the position, so obviously there was something that they saw in me and my work ethic up to that point. However, if you came into this company after me, then you have absolutely no basis to be bitter with me or hold anything against me. My job is important and I take pride in it.

I had a nice, long talk with Michael last night about some feelings I have been going through. He opened my eyes to a lot things that I either didn't see or just didn't want to see. I am at a completely different stage in life than some of my friends. That's not wrong, it's just different. Because of this, there is a wall between us. How we deal with that wall is what makes the difference. I can put my professional life aside and have a good time with people, regardless of where they stand professionally or otherwise. However, I am starting to see that others cannot. I am friends with people that I feel are way beyond me, and it does not bother me. Some people are more ambitious, or they were just in the right place at the right time. Why would I be upset that they are successful? Almost all of my friends are in a better financial situation than me because of what their family left them, their parents or their significant other and their family. I don't hate them for that. So, why do those same people treat me so cruelly when I have made my own way? Is it jealousy? To me, that seems so juvenile that I don't even want to consider it.

I'm just tired and upset... I want people in my life who appreciate the things I have done for them, and who will not bring me down because of their own shortcomings.

It has begun.

So, last week I finished reading through New Rules of Lifting for Women. I had originally planned to start last week, but I really wanted to get through the book and understand the diet plan first. I'm glad I did, because I started a VERY successful week 1 this week! The diet plan is very easy for me to follow since it incorporates a lot of food items I already have and use. It also calls for me to eat every few hours, so I'm less likely to go throughout the day forgetting to eat and then screw up on a burger or something greasy.

What's funny is that I have lost about 2 lbs. so far, but I have upped my calories a lot for me. I was taking in around 1200-1400, and this week I've gone up to 1800-2000. I guess a huge part of that is the macroratio. I'm eating a lot more protein than I usually do, which is great! I like how Casandra uses protein powder in ways I would never have thought of. My favorite breakfast for work days is a mini whole wheat bagel, reduced fat cream cheese, and a protein iced coffee (coffee, skim milk and protein powder). It's quick, easy and filling! I'm still palying around with the lunch and dinner recipes. The snacks are great too. I love the red pepper and hummus, and the apple with natural peanut butter. I know I may be way too excited, but it has always been difficult for me to follow the diet part of the programs I've done in the past. They would always call for weird ingredients or just too much time in the kitchen for breakfast or lunch. I'm a roll-out-of-bed-and-grab-it-on-my-way-out-the-door kind of girl in the morning, and I hardly ever waste the gas to go home on my lunch break unless it is absolutely necessary for some reason.

I'm thinking about talking to Ambrey (a girl I used to work with and who is now the Director of my gym) about what I need to do to be Spin and Body Pump certified - especially Spin. Body Pump requires you to learn new routines every few months, and I kind of feel like I would barely have one down before they're asking me to learn another one. There is a lot more freedom with Spin, and I love all of the different instructors and their variations. It's just a thought. I don't think I have the personality to be a personal trainer - I just don't feel like I can be hard on someone when I'm so far from perfect in my diet and exercise! lol However, I think I could do this since it doesn't require me to harp on anyone about what they do outside of that 45-60 minutes.

My plan is to take pictures of my progress with NROLFW at least twice a month. I'm going to take my week 1 pics this weekend! :) I can't wait to see the next set to compare. I believe that doing this will help keep me motivated over the next 6 months. I've come so far, and while I've wanted to scream it from the mountain tops that I am healthier than ever, I still feel like I have so far to go. If someone asks me about what I'm doing, or mentions something about me losing weight, then I'll talk about it at that time. Or the people in my life who are health conscious, yeah, I definitely talk about it with them regularly. I just don't want to be "that girl" at work, the gym or otherwise who boasts about all the work-outs she's doing or how many calories she had or burned that day and still be looking like a chunky monkey, ya know? Everyone's opinion is different about health and beauty, but until I can stand naked in front of a mirror and see muscle tone all over without flexing, you won't catch me bragging! lol My hope and prayer is that NROLFW gets me to that point FINALLY! :D

I think it was the Taaka that faakad me...

It seems that lately I've had way too many opportunities for sabotage. I've been hanging out with girls from work a lot, and then trying to have a weekly Kona happy hour trip with my other girl friends. I'm not going to back out of a good time with friends, but I do need to be a little more careful about my food and beverage choices, I guess.

Last night was ridiculously fun! One of the girls I work with lives in the same neighborhood as me. I get a text from another girl who used to work at LAH saying to come down the street for martinis. So, I head over on my bike. A couple of hours of good fun later, it's time to go home. Alisha gets this brilliant idea to try to shove my bike in her backseat. Her boyfriend says hell no, and pulls it out. Then we decide we're going to ride my bike together back to my house since she wants to make sure I get home ok (we're both hammered!). So, picture this - 2 short, small drunk girls riding down the street screaming on a bike made for one person. It was HILARIOUS! At least to us, it was! lol! We get to my house, pile into my car, and Michael drives her back to her house. There are lots of fun details in between, but I can't even remember them all - just that it was a good time! :) Going back and looking at the few pics that I took made it even better. lol

Shopping Issues

Saturday, I went shopping at the Macy's 1-Day sale. I had a gift card and figured I could use some new work clothes (and get Michael a shirt and tie for work as well). I started sifting through the racks, grabbing what little I found that I thought might work for me. I even grabbed a couple of pairs of Lucky jeans in size 28. I finally make it to the dressing room, and every single thing (minus a small sweater top) was too big. Everything I grabbed was a size 6, and none of it fit. The freaking jeans didn't even fit!! They were hanging off of me! So, I still tried it all on so that I could get an idea of what might actually work for me in a smaller size. I go back, switch out for size 4s, grab a few new things (in size 6 since they looked to be cut smaller). I said to hell with the jeans though. Once I got back in the dressing room, I found several pairs of pants and tops that I liked enough. Of course, the few size 6 items I picked up needed to be swapped for size 4. For some reason I could not get it in my head that I needed a smaller size. Finally, I make my selections and head to the scanner to see what my total will be. Two things I picked up were on sale (not even a good sale), and the rest was regular priced. AGHHHH! So, now I decide on 2 pairs of pants (since that's what I REALLY needed), and a short-sleeved sweater top. This was all I ended up with after 1 1/2 hours of shopping. I think that maybe I don't shop well by myself.... I never seem to find anything unless I'm with my mom or girlfriends. :(

I have some beef with this shopping trip. Not because I needed smaller sizes, but because I almost feel like the joke's on me? Department stores cater to "bigger" women. I have ALWAYS found myself in smaller sizes in the department stores. I guarantee that if I have walked down to Buckle and grabbed a size 28 Lucky jean, it would not have been hanging off of me like the ones in Macy's. That's what is aggravating. I don't want to walk around saying I'm a size 4, when I'm really not. I'm just a size 4 in the department stores that are cut for bigger women. I my head, I knew what size I was and after the first part of shopping, it was really a tease to get in the dressing room. I also realize the flip side of if I had fit those 6s that I would really be bigger, but that's not the point. Why can't the designers all get together and decide on a set of measurements that they are going to use when determining sizes?! I hate that my work clothes can be 2-4 and my going-out clothes are anywhere from a 4-8. It sucks.

My battle with the scale..

I'm pretty sure that this ritualistic morning bathroom war with my scale will never end.

Last month I hit my lowest weight so far - 125.4. Maybe I was dehydrated...maybe it was a fluke....or maybe it's the fact that I had several days worth of horrible eating from plans with family and friends immediately afterward, but I have yet to get back down to that weight or lower. I went right back to my 127-128 range. I have been maintaining right there for what feels like forever now. Don't get me wrong; I'm very happy to be at this weight, but I want better. I have the hang of maintaining my weight now. I just want to lose a few more pounds, tone up, and then go back to maintaining. :)

Last night was Girls' Nights at the Melting Pot with some co-workers. Then we hit the Texas Club (yeah, yeah, I know. :P). I made sure to monitor my calories all day so that I only ate around 800-900 calories, plus I rode 7 miles before we went out. I figured that even if I only grazed at the Melting Pot, the alcohol would do me in on calories. So anyway...we had a great time and danced the night away. I get up this morning and weighed in at 126.8. I really, really, REALLY hope this is a break in my plateau. I've been trying to up my calories like Beth told me and net around 1400. It's been hard because I've been so used to eating less, but I'm trying to eat every 2 hours or so to help keep me from getting too full and then not eating the rest of the day because I feel so miserable.

One thing I'm trying to teach myself regarding the scale is that it lies - it really does. Even though I've been maintaining my weight, my body is still changing. I went and spent way too much on my first pair of designer jeans at Buckle the other day (about 2-3 weeks ago). I was so happy to have a ridiculously great fitting pair of jeans, and now they're too big. I mean, I can slip into them comfortably but after about an hour, they stretch a little and become baggy. I assume that boot camp is what has done it since that's the only thing (well, and I've taken up biking too...) I've really done with my work-outs since I bought the damn things. On one hand I'm really happy, but on the other I'm pissed I spent so much and now they can be my "fat jeans". I wasn't very sure on how to figure the sizes out since they're European, but I passed a rack of Lucky jeans yesterday and they had American sizes in their jeans along with the European. So, I guess now I'm a 28 European/6 American. I have come to terms with the fact that I will never slip into a size 2 in jeans since I have such a big ass in proportion to my height. I actually like my big ass and the curves it gives me, though; so I guess it's cool. :)

It's kind of funny how people view exercise sometimes..

Yesterday and today had me thinking about how I used to view diet and exercise. Actually, what really sparked my thoughts was an infomercial. (I have a sick addiction to them. lol) I took a nap and ended up being wide awake at midnight. I decided to let the TV play in the background while I read NROLFW. Of course, I paused a few times as ads for the Jack LaLanne Power Juicer (does that thing really work, and is juicing really all that great for you??) and other random scams passed by. Then one of them came on that was really cheesy. I forget the name of the program, but the guy on it was claiming that you could get the perfect body from his system. I started thinking back when I ordered the "Slim in 6" program and Windsor Pilates. Back then 5 or 6 weeks was WAAAY too long for me to be stuck in a program to get in shape. That was just ridiculous to me. LOL! My how things have changed.

I am currently doing a Boot Camp program at the gym that lasts for 5 weeks. It may go on longer (the poster she has for our point standings goes into June), but definitely through the end of May. I'm actually going to miss several sessions because of the cruise for my cousin's bachelorette party, but I plan to make those up. I wish this session was going to last for 8 weeks, but Beth is pregnant and this is the last Boot Camp for the year so that she can take off for the baby. It's funny to think of the way I used to view the length of time I was willing to give to get into shape. Seriously, a week or 2 MAX. People who already take care of themselves and are athletic don't even do that.

Once I get back from the cruise and Boot Camp is over, I am going to start doing NROLFW. That is a six month program - the longest I will have ever done. I'm excited to start it, and very nervous as well. I am trying to get over the fad ideas that have been ingrained in me from health magazines and media hype, and reteach myself more realistic goals according to this book. He makes a lot of great points, but it's so different from what I've seen and heard everywhere else. This is a long-term program, and that's exactly what I need. Most of what you see and hear regarding diet and exercise revolves around a short-term goal - nothing you would stick with forever. Granted, I may move on to other plans after this one; it all depends on how well it works for me and my lifestyle.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the funny little thoughts I had from watching infomercials the other night. It's crazy to think that there are many people out there who think the way I used to. Hopefully they will come to the same conclusions I did about health and fitness instead of continuing to view them as a short-term fix for their long-term problems.

The story behind my blog name...

From the end of high school til about early 2007, I was pretty comfortable with my size. I never felt like I had a weight problem before then. Anytime I wanted to slim down a little, I only needed about a week to do so. Michael would always joke about how easily I could lose weight and tone up, even though it was only about five pounds worth at the most. The most I ever weighed at any given time during that period was 130, and that was on a BAD day or week.

Several years ago, I had an apartment with another girl named Kristen. I worked at Spectrum Fitness on Perkins Road, which should have given me great eating and workout habits. I also waited tables at the time, so that effectively canceled the healthy part out with the greasy food that was available on every shift. The truth is, my habits were horrible. I had no problems losing a few quick pounds at any given time, and I had good and bad resources to help me (i.e. personal trainers with quick tips that you would never want to consider long-term, trust me). The only thing I never did was crack out on diet pills (that was my high school vice).

When I wasn't needing to watch my weight too closely, I had an addiction to Taco Bell. No, really. An addiction. Michael would come over to see and stay with me sometimes, and there would ALWAYS be midnight Taco Bell runs, sometimes Jack in the Box just for variety. I have no idea how in the world I didn't balloon up (actually, I do. My "healthy" habits were worse than my "unhealthy" habits). Michael eventually told me he was convinced that I had a little fat girl living in my stomach who would create these ridiculous cravings. He named the little fat girl Lauren. He even knows what she looks like - red hair in pigtails with freckles all over her face; an ugly little fit-pitching bitch that you want to slap the shit out of.

This has been about five or six years ago, and we still reference Lauren when I have a craving for something unhealthy (like Taco Bell). Even after being healthy and eliminating most of my bad habits over the past year and few months, Lauren still likes to come out and pitch a fit. I've been getting better at controlling her, but I will admit that I struggle sometimes. As Melody has said, being healthy is not easy. It doesn't come naturally. It is a constant battle, especially since unhealthy choices are so prevalent and easy to come by in our society. Hence the title of my blog, "The Road Less Traveled." People want to take the easy road to health and fitness, but there truly is no easy road. Besides, the victory is a lot sweeter when you bust your ass for it.

So, now you know the story behind the blog address and title. While I do blog some on LiveStong (my online food journal), I felt like I needed another place to document my daily struggles and triumphs. Maybe one day I will finally be at a place where Lauren has moved out, but until that time comes, I'll be doing my best to overcome her little tantrums. I am so close to the body I want that there is nothing and no one that will stop me from achieving it. :)