Aggravations

I hate how I can go all day being great, and then one fun night at Bunco can set me back unbelievably far. I ate well all day, went to Spin and then I get to Bunco. Now, I don't have control over the meal that is prepared, but I could do a better job of watching myself. No, I can't measure out like I can at home, but I know how to eyeball fairly well. I feel like I did that last night and still failed once I got back to track it. Ugh. Guess I'll just have a once a month "know I'm going to screw it up" night.

And, another thing that annoys me... Sometimes you just can't track accurately. For example... I had my light turkey sausage quesadilla for breakfast today. However, I removed one side of the tortilla so that I lost a chunk of carbs, but not the protein. Can't track it like that, though. Annoying.

I guess I'm just in a mood today. I feel like I am so far from my goals, and I'm just ready to be there.

post-Halloween "diet"

Hello November 1st!  You are a welcome sight right now.

Now that Halloween is over, I feel like so many temptations will be gone - food and money-wise.  October is always a "big-spender" month for us.  Between buying Halloween candy for the kiddies and then investing in costume supplies, I always walk away feeling empty.  I get so wrapped up in the spirit of Halloween and forget that it is very fleeting.  This year was a little different because Ethan was old enough to start getting into Halloween.  We took him trick-or-treating and he did great!  He loved seeing all the other kiddos and running up to people handing treats out to him.  It was freaking adorable.  Seriously.

Moving on (because I have a whole other blog dedicated the adorableness of my son)...

Michael and I had a talk Monday night.  He asked me what I thought would work for me, diet-wise.  He noticed that I did lose some weight with Ideal Protein, but I have also lost weight using good habits.  I feel like I would be better off using good habits.  Yes, I lost weight using Ideal Protein.  It definitely works.  But, once the accountability is gone, it's not as effective for me.  Plus, Michael wants this whole healthy lifestyle thing to be a family affair.  Honestly, I could do a program and still cook a healthy dinner for us at night.  The only issue would be on the weekends.  It could work.

But, the more I thought about it, I don't want my son and future children (especially a daughter) to see their mom constantly on a "diet".  I want them to grow up seeing healthy habits.  When I was growing up, my mom went to aerobics classes and practiced healthy eating habits for the most part.  Later in my childhood, she started trying different programs like Sugar Busters.  It was weird to me at the time to see her eating things that were different from us.  She had "special bread".  I feel like Ethan should be able to eat the same things that Michael and I eat.  We should all be able to sit down to any given meal as a family and eat together without someone having "special bread".

So, Tuesday, I went grocery shopping with a semi-list.  I decided to start out like I did before - go simple and use the "light" versions.  My health knowledge from before Ethan is still there, but in trying to get back to those good habits, I need to start small.  I used to cook elaborate healthy meals, and maybe I will work back to that one day.  Right now, I need simple.  Simple is a light Jimmy Dean breakfast quesadilla and coffee with sugar-free creamer & splenda for breakfast.  Simple is a sliced turkey or chicken sandwich on light bread with a 40 calorie slice of cheese and pre-measured/weighed Zapps chips and a light salad.  Simple is a crock pot dinner recipe from Hungry-Girl or Skinny Ms.  Simple.

That is where I am at right now.  And, I'm okay with it.

Le sigh

Where did we leave off?  Ideal Protein? Oh yeah...

So, with a few scheduling conflicts, I missed a couple of Ideal Protein appointments.  That threw everything off.  Then, I switched jobs and no longer had a convenient way to get over to Ascension.  I had Byron pick up my shakes for a week, but realized that the accountability was just gone.  Then, Michael's grandmother passed away...  I still have some Ideal Protein products that I plan to use, but I definitely fell off that wagon.

So, here we are.  I'm not completely back at square one, but it sure feels like it.  I gained about 5-7lbs back from the 17lbs I had lost.

Over the last 2-3 weeks, I've been Spinning and running 2-3 times per week - not consistently enough for my liking.  When I'm in a good routine, I like to have solid work-outs at least 4 times a week, usually 5.  That is what I need to get back to.  However, my diet is going to be the hardest part for me.  I feel like I have some terrible habits to break.  I snack late at night, for one.  I feel like I eat way too much at any given sitting.  I need to bust out some major portion control - which started this morning.  I picked up a non-fat latte and breakfast sandwich from Starbucks this morning.  They were out of the egg white and spinach wrap I really like, so I opted for an egg and cheese sandwich.  I was SHOCKED at the calorie difference when I sat down to look.  I only ate half of my sandwich and put the rest in the fridge so that I could have it tomorrow morning. 
I'm also working on my water intake.  I have a 24oz cup I bring with me every.single.day, but I feel like I rarely finish it.  My goal is to drink two full cups before lunch, and shoot for another one after.  We don't keep sodas in the house (unless we are planning for company), so I usually get at least 8-16oz of water with dinner.

I guess I just haven't really looked in the mirror enough to be bothered over the past month.  I saw pictures from a party this past weekend, and I was nauseated at how I look now.  I guess it's easy to put it out of your mind when you have so many other wonderful things going on in your life to focus on.  I am so happy everywhere else in my life, so I feel like I've been able to put this one negative thing away.  That has to end once and for all.  I cannot allow myself to get pregnant again until my health is back where it needs to be.

4 weeks into Ideal Protein

And, I have lost 12 pounds!!  Talk about excited! :)

What makes me feel even better is that, while the Ideal Protein purist does not cheat, I have had several cheat meals and/or days.  I don't want to be miserable.  I refuse to set myself up for failure by beating myself up over a few indulgences.  And, that's what I keep them at - a few.  With Ethan's birthday and all of the hoopla that went with it, I didn't have very many healthy options available - totally my own fault.  Plus, Byron and I had to miss our regular appointment last week, so I ran out of Ideal Protein products.  So, anyway, I had some cheats, but I didn't let it ruin my successes.

Tomorrow, I will be back to Spin and on the strict path.  Since the next 5-6 weeks should be relatively quiet as far as parties and outings, I plan to hit 90% of my total weight loss goal in that time.  I would like to lose 35lbs total, so I'm roughly 20lbs away.  That means I need to lose 3-4lbs a week, and then I could move into Phase 2.  I am so excited that something is working so well for me!  As I've said before, I love the structure, and I think that really helps me stay on track with my crazy schedule.

Cheers to another successful month! :)

Another success!

Yes!  Another successful weigh-in!  I am down another 4lbs!  I am completely used to the diet now.  That is not saying that I don't get cravings or that I don't want to cave to pressure, but the progress I am seeing is what keeps me going.

I had to travel out of town for work, and was concerned that my old travel habits might creep back up.  I used to stop for a Diet Coke or Diet Dr. Pepper (and gas, if needed) before I got on the road.  If it was around lunch, I would just grab something quick.  I was HARD not to do that.  I did need gas towards the end on my way home, but I decided to just get some the next morning to keep the temptation away.  I am so glad that I broke through those cravings and bad habits!

I have also been back in the gym for Spin twice, and we still take our after-dinner walks every night.  I know those are helping.  My goal for the upcoming week is to make it back to the gym three, maybe even four times.  I have to pace myself, because I am low on carbs and this is a diet so I don't have quite as much energy as before.  Once I move into the final phases, I will be back in the game completely.

And, I was finally able to fit comfortably in a pair of jeans that have just been a little too tight.  That felt really good. :)

And here is what motivates me.

I went to my first weigh-in today, and I am down 4.2 pounds!!  I am THRILLED!  I was concerned that my girls night on Wednesday was going to mess me up (and I'm sure it did a little), but I am very happy with that number!  This is what I need to keep me motivated - progress.  I lost several inches as well - mostly in my waist.

The diet does take some getting used to, but it's very doable.  This week was not easy, but it wasn't absolute torture either.  To keep things interesting, I am changing it up a little next week.  I'm going to hit the gym at least 3 times, and on those days I will allow myself one restricted item right before I go.  Michael and I have been taking Ethan on after-dinner walks that last between 45-75 minutes.  We did this four times this past week, and it was really nice.  I feel like they not only benefit our health, but it gives us some solid time to reconnect away from the distractions of technology.  Michael wholeheartedly agrees. :)

So, here we go on to week 2.  Next week, I have a going-away party for a co-worker.  I feel more confident about events like this now.  After seeing this progress, it motivates me more to not indulge so much.  My plan is to go and maybe enjoy ONE glass of wine, have a good time, and go home satisfied.

Yay for a successful week 1! :)

Sucky McSuckers

Sometimes, this diet really sucks.  But, I also felt the same way when I was first starting out in 2008.  I have to remember that I am essentially at the same place that I was.  I feel like it is more difficult now, because I remember how much it sucked.  I don't relish in the small victories as much as I did then.  I know that is wrong, and I should accept that small wins will get me to where I want to be.

I just don't know where I went wrong.  I LOVED being pregnant.  I felt absolutely beautiful pregnant.  I did not gain too much weight - I was in the 25-30lb window by the time I gave birth (which is spot-on for a healthy pregnancy).  I started off healthy, but did let the exercise start to slip at the end of the first trimester.  Maybe that is where I went wrong.  My weight gain was as steady as it should have been, and even in my final days, I didn't feel very bloated or swollen.  Uncomfortable, yes.  And, after I had Ethan, I started breastfeeding.  I breastfed until he was 11 months & 1 week old.  I did it until I just couldn't stand my body for another second, and needed to make a change.  Breastfeeding did not help me with ANY weight loss.  I know it's a Godsend for some, but I'm one of the lucky ones who did not get that benefit.  Now that I have been done for going on 2 weeks, I finally feel like I have control over my body again.  I can cut calories where I couldn't before.  But, I do not feel like I gave myself a license to overindulge...  Maybe I did.  I tracked my calories as often as I could remember, and always stayed under the 2000 mark, usually around 1800.  That is a healthy caloric intake for a breastfeeding mother.  I will say that I always felt hungry.  I tried to snack a little through the day to help, but I'll admit that it wasn't always the most healthy choices.  Peanut butter crackers were my weakness.  I don't know... Part of me wants to beat myself up, and the other part understands that my body went obviously went through some changes.  What worked before was not quite as efficient.


Regardless, I am finally making some progress.  This is my fourth day on Ideal Protein, and I feel like I am getting somewhere.  My hunger and cravings are starting to curb.  When I go back on Friday, I am going to swap out my unrestricted snack for a restricted one so that I can workout in the afternoons again (with energy).  I am learning how to eat again.  With the pregnancy, I allowed myself to indulge on occasion, and I'm not sure that mentality has left yet.  While I don't feel like I have been "so bad"....maybe I have.


Regardless, I am just happy to finally feel like something is working again. :)